Letters
by KiaSapphire
Summary: Oneshot: Letters to Namine from Roxas during his time in the military. -Akuroku- Yaoi.


Um... title suggestions are open? ;D? And this is my attempt at writing angst. D: Tell me how it goes?  
For the un-butchered version, go to my fic journal at http:// kiasapphire. livejournal. com/ (minus the spaces, sorry guys!)  
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Shame, huh?  
Enjoy!

* * *

_June 12, 2007:_

Dear Namine,

Life in the military is so much harder than they make it out to be. Still, I don't think I'll have a problem once I get settled in. We have a nice sergeant here, and we're not too close to the fighting yet. I've been told that if things go as they are, we may not have to go in there much, if at all.

I've made a friend, another corporal. His name is Demyx. I don't know what he's doing here in the army. He seems like such a pacifist, but I won't complain. He's a good person, and a great friend. He even plays guitar! I guess technically, it's called a _sitar_, but anyways, he plays really well. I'm really glad I'm bunking with him.

Demyx has a sister, too. Her name's Kairi. He talks about her all the time- how proud of her he his. It makes me think about you a lot. How are your art classes going? How're mom and dad? And Cloud and Sora, too, how're they? I hope Sora's not causing too much trouble there without me!

Write soon!

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_July 17, 2007:_

Dear Namine,

The fighting is getting closer. I haven't been able to write because we've been so busy here. Demyx and I have been promoted to sergeants now, and we've been put in charge of training the new recruits. He just got a letter from his cousin saying that he enlisted, too, so we should meet him soon. Demyx says he's nice, and I'll like him.

Namine, I miss you. It's so hard to be brave here with guns going off in every direction when I wish that I could just be at home with everyone, safe in bed. I'm glad, though, that you and Cloud and Sora are already in collage. You made the safer choice, and none of you should have to be here. I miss everyone so much. Give mom and dad a big hug for me, okay? And study hard for your summer finals!

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_July 31, 2007:_

Dear Namine,

The new recruits came in a week ago. Demyx and I have been training them non-stop. Most of them seem like they know what they're doing, so we're not worried. Some of them are even older than me! It feels so weird to be ordering around middle-aged men when I'm only twenty-two.

Demyx's cousin came in with the last ship. His name's Axel, and he's… weird. But in a good way. It looks like he wears a red porcupine on his head, and he has bright green eyes with little tattoos under them. And he's unhealthily skinny. Demyx and I have been trying to get him to eat more, but he just won't gain any weight!

He's nice, though, if not a little eccentric. I can see how he and Demyx are related. I wish you could meet them. We all bunk together now, and we talk all about you and Kairi. Axel doesn't really talk about his home life much, but one person he always talks about is his brother, Reno. I guess they're twins or something, and Axel's real proud of him. He's an officer, I think, but he's really far away.

The fighting's died down a bit, and everyone's relaxing a little more. It's nice to have a break, especially with all the work to be done around here. Soon we'll be done with the trainees, though, and Demyx and I will be much more at ease.

Give everyone a hug for me, and tell Sora happy birthday! Eat lots of sea-salt ice-cream for me, 'kay?

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_August 15, 2007:_

Dear Namine,

First and foremost, I am _not_ obsessed with Axel! I'm just worried because he looks so frail! He looks like he can't even fire a gun without falling over! Which isn't true, he's a great shot. He's even older than me, believe it or not. Twenty-five. He looks like he's seventeen.

Now that we're officially done with the recruits, Demyx, Axel and I have been kicking back a little bit. The fighting's died down more than ever, and Demyx is talking about us being able to come home early. Early! I'm so excited to see you all again. Demyx and Axel are talking about coming home with me and meeting everyone for the holidays, and I think it'd be a great idea.

We play poker a lot around here, and I've found that I'm rather good at it. Axel's pretty good, too, but Dem' can never keep a straight face, so usually he just makes sure we don't cheat.

Demyx and Axel are some of the greatest friends I could ever ask for. I still miss Hayner and Pence and Olette, but Demyx and Axel and I are… I don't even know. It feels so good to be with them. I just wish we'd all met under different circumstances.

Finally starting your senior year, huh little sis'? I want you to study hard and not let any of those evil AP teachers to scare you, 'kay? You're way smarter than they could ever be!

Paint me something awesome!

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_September 10, 2007:_

Dear Namine,

I think I'm falling in love with Axel.

Not even kidding, Nam'. Part of me wishes we were there with you in Twilight, because you know how to deal with this sort of thing, but I_can't._ I'm so lost, Nam'. I think I love him, and I want to love him, but part of me is afraid and confused, and… No one should ever fall in love during a war. It's wrong and cruel, because I know that any day we go out, he could die. And I think part of me would die with him.

I think Demyx is noticing, too, and I think he's okay with it. Maybe I could talk to him about it, because he seems like the kinda guy that might be able to help.

As for Axel himself, I don't know. He grins a lot, and sometimes he'll lay these little unnecessary touches on me, like a hand on the shoulder or ruffling my hair, but… I don't _know_, Nam'. I miss you so much right now because you'd be able to tell me if I was doing the right thing by loving him.

But how is everyone? Cloud and Sora should start their sophomore year in a few weeks, right? Keep up your grades in school, sis'! I love you, and I miss you so much.

Love,

Your confused brother, Roxas.

--

_October 1, 2007:_

Dear Namine,

Well, I told him like you said, you crazy nut. It took about five seconds, but then he picked me up and swung me around and kept calling me "Roxie."

As weird as it was, I'm really happy. Demyx finally combusted after the whole thing and said he was sick of keeping secrets on both sides, and Axel conked him on the head and said he shoulda' said something.

Anyways, Axel and I are really, really happy together. I'm glad I took your advice, Nam'. I told Axel what you said, and he said he wants to meet you even more now. Demyx, too.

Demyx keeps making fun of us because, as he terms it, "Axel's like a freakin' guard dog with a piece of steak." I'm not really pleased with being called a steak, but… it's accurate. We're working on that.

Unfortunately, the fighting's been working up again. Not badly like before, but Axel's getting fidgety and Demyx keeps muttering about missing Kairi. I'm worried, Nam'. Keep your grades up, and tell Cloud and Sora the same. I don't want you or them out here.

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_October 31, 2007:_

Dear Namine,

Axel decided he wanted to write to you. But before he does that, I wanted to know how everything's going there. How're mom and dad? I miss everyone, and give them lots of love!

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

P.S. - I apologize if Axel writes something rude- (he won't let me see what he's writing) - he has a bad mouth. Don't let him rub off on you.

Dear Roxas' sister,

Hey babe! It's your brother's favorite redhead! Roxie never stops talking about you, his genius little artist sister. ;) I hear you're a great painter! You should meet Dem's sister, Kairi, my cousin. She's a photographer, and she'd love you.

But anyways, first, I wanted to thank you for kickin' your older bro into tellin' me something. I thought I'd never get to lay him! get to tell him how I felt! All that mushy crap aside, I love the little brat, and I'm real happy with him, and I think I have you to thank for that.

Next… gets on one knee Namine, I would like to ask you for permission to marry your brother, Roxas Balthier Strife. Seeing as you (or that stony triplet, Cloud, Roxie talks about) are the most sensible, I would like your say-so before I steal your brother. ;)

Write soon!

-Your (brother-in-law?) 's truly, Axel Gainsborough.

--

_November 12, 2007:_

Dear Namine,

I didn't even know what he'd written. As soon as we got your letter, (_express_, Namine. So ready to get rid of me?) Axel got on one knee and proposed.

I'm so happy, Nam'. I really am. And of course I said yes, you don't even need to ask.

Namine, Reno's dead. Axel got a letter the other day, and he hasn't spoken since. Demyx and I don't know what to do. Axel's leaving for the funeral in a week, and he'll be gone for two. He loved his brother so much, looked up to him so much… Oh, Namine, I don't know what to do. All I can do is be happy that none of you are out here.

Axel's leaving soon, and I'll miss him, but… It's good that he'll be able to get away from here. The fighting's getting worse again, and closer. I can only hope he makes it out before it reaches us. I feel so awful, Namine. I can't do anything for him, and he hurts so much…

Keep up your grades, okay? Go for as many scholarships as you can. Tell mom and dad and Cloud and Sora I love them.

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_November 30, 2007:_

Dear Namine,

This is the last letter I'll be sending for a little while. The fighting is closer than ever, and with new recruits, we're moving camp inland to get away. I'm glad Axel isn't here in all of this chaos.

Demyx is managing to keep everyone in high spirits, though. He says he's going to be Axel's best man at the wedding, and that you should be my maid of honor. Demyx tries so hard to keep everyone happy, and I never noticed how hard it is for him. He's braver than anyone out here.

The new recruits are promising, and now that we're a little farther away from the fighting, Demyx and I are training them again. It's just like the old days, he says.

Unfortunately, we won't make it home for the holidays. I'm really upset, but I want you all to have a lot of fun, okay? Don't let Sora put up mistletoe all over just for an excuse to kiss Riku, alright? And monitor eggnog levels!

Give everyone my love and don't forget about your midterms!

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_January 20, 2008:_

Dear Namine,

It's been better around here after New Years. The fighting's almost settled down again, and it's far away.

Axel came back, and he's… doing better. He's trying hard not to be upset. He knows Reno died with honor, and I think that makes it a little easier to accept. Demyx and I are trying hard to keep him in good spirits, and he's warming up a little again.

Good news! Demyx and I get our discharge orders in April! We'll be home sometime around Easter, and I'm bringing Axel with me. We're hoping to get married sometime in May, and Demyx can't wait to be our best man. We're so excited, and we can't stop planning even around everything that needs to be done here.

How did your midterms go? Good grades, I hope. Tell everyone I love them, and give mom and dad a hug for me!

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_February 21, 2008:_

Dear Namine,

Demyx is dead. He was wounded in a raid, and… he died in the infirmary, of infection they said. Oh, Nam'… I miss him. I miss him so much. He was the first friend I ever made here.

Axel's taking it hard, too. They were cousins, after all. We're trying to be strong for each other, but… it's hard, Nam'. So hard. The officers said they'd give us a break, but we can't leave for his funeral…

Nam', Axel and I've been talking it over a lot. We have a huge favor to ask of you. We can't go, but… we want you to go to his funeral. It's only an hour away, in Hollow Bastion, and it shouldn't interfere with your school too much.

Please, Namine, we want to pay our respects so badly, but we can't leave. Please, I need you to do this, _we_ need you to do this. Ask mom or dad or Cloud or Sora to take you. Please, Namine. I miss him so much.

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_March 16, 2008:_

Dear Namine,

I can't thank you enough. Axel and I are so grateful. You're the best, Nam', really. It means a lot that you did that for us.

We miss him. A lot. He was so close, but… he was brave. And he was the best friend I've ever had.

I get my discharge orders in a month, Nam'! Then we'll be home! We'll get out of this wretched place, and you'll be able to go to collage, and we'll never have to worry about this awful thing ever again. Axel's so happy about the wedding. He's been writing to Kairi a lot about plans, and she wants to get together with you to discuss some of them. He won't let me do anything, which is annoying, but I don't mind all that much. As long as it's small.

Almost time for finals, little sis'! I want you to study hard and get as many scholarships as you can! Tell Cloud and Sora to do well on their finals, too, and give mom and dad a hug for me!

Love,

Your brother, Roxas.

--

_April 22, 2008:_

Dear Miss Namine Strife,

We are sorry to inform you that your brother, Roxas Balthier Strife, was shot and killed in battle. He died protecting Corporal Gainsborough, and will receive an award for his bravery…

--

_Namine stopped reading there. _

--

_On the day of Roxas' funeral, it rained. _

_Namine looked like a porcelain doll in her black dress, seeming to glow. On either side of her were her brothers, Sora and Cloud. Neither of them said anything, but stared cruelly at the coffin their brother was resting in. Sora had tears running silently down his cheeks, but it looked as though he hadn't noticed. Cloud could only watch, unable to accept that his brother was gone. _

_Namine, however, did not cry. She clutched in her hand a thick envelope of letters, which she held close to her body to protect from the rain. She watched quietly as her brother's casket was lowered into the wet ground and covered. She nodded silently to the people who streamed by in tears, offering their apologies and sorrows._

_Finally, it was only her, Cloud, and Sora left. They gave her a look, but she smiled at them and said, "I'll be okay." Her brothers nodded, turning to join the crowd moving towards the hall. A tall brunet and a shorter young man with silvery hair stepped out to join them, while a young redheaded girl glanced back at Namine sadly. _

_When she was alone, Namine cried. She didn't sob loudly or shout, but she uttered soft hiccups and let the tears flow freely, clutching her umbrella and the envelope of letters with a white-knuckled grip._

_A jacket settled over her shoulders, warming her, and an arm slung around them soon afterwards. Namine swiped at her tears and looked up, startled. _

_Axel was standing next to her, but whether the wetness on his cheeks was tears or raindrops, she couldn't tell. He turned and gave her a watery smile, and she could see him playing anxiously with a wedding band on his left ring finger._

"_I loved him." He said._

_Namine gave a little laugh, but it was ruined by a sob. "Yeah, I know." She paused. "Me too."_

_Axel made a small noise, and Namine realized that he really was crying. She dropped her umbrella and turned to hug the tall man desperately, burying her face into his shirt. "I miss him," she cried, hugging him tightly. _

_The redhead laughed lightly, and another sob escaped as he hugged her back just as firmly. "Me too, chickie. Me too." _

_They stood like that for a while, letting the rain soak them as they tried to console each other. Finally, Namine pulled away, and spoke, wiping her tears away. _

"_I want you to have these." She said, handing him the fat envelope. Axel bit his lip, hesitating. Finally he took it and hugged it close._

"_Thank you."_

_Axel took the younger girl's hand, and they turned back to Roxas' grave._

Roxas Balthier Gainsborough

April 17, 1985- April 16, 2008

Beloved son, brother, and husband.

"_I miss him," Namine said again. Axel squeezed her hand, picking up her umbrella._

"_Yeah. Me too." _

* * *

Please review! ;D 


End file.
